Admit it, something sweet.

Your face, it's beautiful. It's fake.
It's always the other way around, for another day.
It's backwards, it's forwards.
It's never fucking going to be the same.

You haunt my thoughts.
(I won't admit it.)
I compromise.
(You won't admit it.)
You twist my words.
(I won't admit it.)
I make it clear.
(You won't admit what?)
I'm still your light.

This game, I act, you sing.
We frolic like it never happened,
We pretend,
We pretend,
We pretend.
The black- I'm stained.
And you won't let me forget it.

I shout and scream
(You won't admit it.)
You sing of my lies
(I won't admit it.)
I patronize.
(You won't commit me.)
I'm going batty.

Your passivness has failed you again,
and were stuck at a stand still
Neither can win.
Past the tears, tommarow is fears,
I'm leaving, you.

I him and haw
(I love you.)
You twit, you idiot
(I left you.)
You watch me leave and wave.
(I love you!)
And night turns into day.

Pretty Bras

Pretty bras don't make you prettier on the outside,
They can't fix that face,
They can't hide that scowl.

Pretty boys won't make you feel better,
Their going to use your till their nothing left,
They won't look back and see their fingerprint.

Plastic people make plastic promises,
That melt in the sun, crack in the cold,
and never amount to the value their sold.

This is a shitty poem for you,
I didn't guarantee it to be new.
But when you fuck me and leave me,
Well, lets just say I hope you take it easy.

Love, Nothing.

Collase of the Chamomile

Blogs are so completly over rated, and yet, I find myself wrting one. Life is changing changing changing. Found out I got a promotion today! I'm not technically supposed to know yet, because I haven't talked to the store manager about it yet, but it's still pretty cool. Going to have to swich to nights/ midshifts though, which i'm really not excited about. But, I think it will be a really great learning experiance, and this way when I move to Chicago I will know how to close.
Oh, did I mention Chicago? Yeah, moving there in August. I applied at Roosevelt University, although I don't know if I will get in. It's a private school, and my grades are... sub-par. I'm having a Tea now, Calm tea. and its the first time I have used the tea cup Jesse got me for my birthday. It looks rather beatiful. Tasty as well.
I'm in love. I'm ridiculously, can't help yourself, want to spend every-single-moment with the person, share your gum, type love. I think he is the most beautiful man ever, outside, and even more importantly, inside. He cares so much about people it embaresses me that I don't do as much as he does. He's incredibly intelligent, witty, and ever changing. Sometimes, it's like he knows exactly what he wants, and other times, I coulden't tell you, and I'm pretty sure he coulden't either. But, that is okay with me. I can relate to him on so many levels. Sometimes, I feel so incredibly lonely, and just listening to him makes everything seem so much better. He reminds me it's completly okay to be different everyday, actually, he woulden't like it if I were normal. He has never called me beautiful, but thats okay, because its hidden behind every stansa and chorus he writes. I would marry him tommarow if he asked me to. I would run away with him anywhere he would ever want to go. I would believe anything he told me, and I would emulate him in anyway I possibly could. I should probley start with introducing myself though.
Conor Oberst, if you only knew how highly I thought of you, the pedastool I put you on, you would most assuradly put a restraining order on me. Honestly, its like, Oh Conor, You smoke? I should smoke to. You drink? I really should get wasted more often. You hate your life? What a coincidence, Your making me hate mine. Okay, so maybe that was being dramatic, but when I listen to him, he evokes so many emotions in my sometimes I feel like I could explode. I wish he knew who I was, I wish he knew I existed. It's so weird, because I'm never like this. I'm never the stupid teenage girl who falls in love with the person she could never have in a million years. I've never really idolized anyone the way I idolize Conor, and I have definitly never wanted to marry someone on the spot before.
Anyways, enough ranting for now.

Claiming a Mistake

Do you ever just want to cry?
But you dont know why?

Do you ever just want to jump?
Threaten the life of the one you love?

I have no mercy, I have no pain.
I lost that the day I lost my shame

I dream of nothing, I sit an stair
Contemplating everything that was never there.

I cannot rhyme. I can not care
All because i have no reason to dare.

I hate that you dont do anything you say you will.
I Hate how I could never be good enough.

You never care! You never Call!
We hardley ever talk at all!

I dont live up to my dreams
I dont do anything good.
I just want your support
I just need your hand
I just wanted you to say,
"You will always be my baby."
I just wanted your love
I just wanted you heart
Why couldent you give it to me?
Thats all I wanted

Now im crying just thinking of you
We have no relashionship, and it's not just because of you
I could have stopped and gone fishing with you
I could have been your little girl
I could have been your shining star
But i'll never be anything to you dad,
Nothing but a falure,
Because thats all I can really do.

False Pretenses create who I think I am.

I guess it was never very good.
I guess I was never all that bright.
I guess the sun done shined all its gunna shine tonight.

I simply saw you in a different light.
I simply changed my mind, believe it to fright.
I simply turned away, out of your sight.

I understand what you never said.
I understand what you will never say.
I understand its till the end, we could never leave each other this way.

I believe in everything.
I believe in nothing.
I believe in you, more then I believe in me.

I can only be who I think I am.
I try to succeed.
I can try to dream.
But they are
False
Pretenses.

Cupcake Kisses in the Morning.

Cupcake kisses in the morning
from my darling little girl
wake the world from this entirley old break
They shake... they shake
they shake

my presonce
my being
my soul
my seeing

Cupcake kisses in the morning
from an angel dressed in denim,
brighten my outlook on this world.

Shes my everything, shes my guiding light
Shes my angel, shes my angel, shes my angel

My light, my love, shes my angel.

Sapphires with Imperfections

Sapphires with imperfections,
Strike cords with the young and restless
They come to look at its beauty,
Hearing tales of glory,
Only to hold it in their hands,
and stair at the wonder, and majestey of it all

When then they see a spot, a speckle, a small black dot in the center
The center where the soul lyes, the center where it all collides,
Its perfection gone, its rhyming wrong, they set the stone down,
Disappointed,
Disatisfied,
and Unimpressed

Then turn to leave, and from the corner of your eye see
a girl, lonley and true, with eyes as blue as June, stairing back at you.
But a double take proves her to be nothing more then a sapphire with imperfections